The Leadership Practice That Protects Your Energy, Anchors Your Presence, and Powers Authentic Connection

When you know and embody your boundaries, you don’t just protect your energy—you create the conditions for authentic leadership, resilience, and regeneration. This is how you move from survival to sovereignty, and from burnout to brilliance.

The truth is that each of us has a finite amount of energy each day. Without clear boundaries, it’s easy to become entangled, depleted, resentful, and overwhelmed by symptoms of stress and emotional exhaustion. Restoring balance means knowing ourselves, discerning our needs and limits, and having the courage to prioritize our well-being, even under pressure.

Boundaries are not simply about saying “no” or building walls to keep things out. Instead, they act as invisible membranes—subtle yet essential—that define where we end and others begin. These boundaries create the safe, generative space needed for authentic connection, mutual respect, and sustainable success.

Boundaries are an expression of inner authority and instinctual agency. They are natural containers that ground, hold us, and invite us to show up for ourselves.- Inspired by Bethany Webster’s work on boundaries and inner authority.

In this way, boundaries are less about exclusion and more about discernment—choosing, with intention, what to let in and what to keep out, so that we—like all living systems—can grow and thrive.

From a nervous system perspective, boundaries are essential when responding to stressors. Polyvagal Theory teaches us that when we override our boundaries—physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual—we risk getting stuck in survival states of fight-or-flight (hyper-reactivity), freeze, shutdown (disengagement) or fawn (people pleasing at the cost of our well-being).

This doesn’t just impact us individually; it sets the emotional tone for our teams, families, and communities.

Types of Boundaries: A Quick Guide

• Physical boundaries protect your personal space and bodily autonomy.

• Mental boundaries safeguard your thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

• Emotional boundaries help you discern your feelings and needs from those of others.

• Spiritual boundaries honor your sense of meaning, purpose, and connection to something greater.

We can learn a great deal about boundaries and grounding in presence from horses

Healthy boundaries are flexible and responsive, not rigid or brittle.

• When our boundaries are too porous, we risk becoming enmeshed, experiencing burnout, and feeling overwhelmed emotionally.

• When they’re too rigid, we may feel isolated or disconnected.

• The sweet spot is a boundary that adapts to context, supports your values, and honours your nervous system’s capacity.

• Essentially, finding ways to connect with what lights you up. This restores flow and brings you back to the 'green zone."

• Making space for fun, creating art, music, or dance, and co-regulating with safe and supportive others are all excellent ways to reclaim our instincts and strengthen our boundaries.

Brené Brown’s research shows that clear boundaries actually amplify compassion—for ourselves and others. When we’re clear about what’s ours to hold and what’s not, we can show up with more empathy, presence, and authenticity. In leadership, emotional boundaries empower us to:

• Maintain emotional resilience under pressure

• Foster psychological safety by modeling self-regulation

• Empower teams to take ownership of their roles without micromanagement

• Create space for innovation and collaboration by staying grounded and present

Practical Strategies to Cultivate Emotional Boundaries

• Define Your Needs: Reflect on what helps you feel safe, supported, and respected. Communicate these needs with “I” statements. Example: “I need uninterrupted time to focus on this project today.”

• Separate Emotions: Empathize with your team’s challenges without absorbing their stress or taking on their problems as your own.Example: “I hear that this situation is frustrating for you. How do you think we should approach it?”

• Take Responsibility for Your Feelings: Own your emotional responses rather than blaming others or circumstances. Example: “When deadlines pile up unexpectedly, I feel overwhelmed. I’d like us to plan ahead more collaboratively.”

• Avoid Overfunctioning: Support your team or clients without taking on their work or emotional load. Trust their capacity to grow . Example: “What steps do you think will move this forward? I’m here if you need feedback.”

• Communicate Assertively: Set limits with kindness and clarity to prevent misunderstandings or resentment. Example: “I’m unable to take on additional tasks this week, but can revisit this next month.”

• Respect Others’ Boundaries: Honor the limits of those you lead, just as you honor your own . Example: “I hear you need space right now—I’ll check back with you tomorrow.”

Recommended Resources: For a powerful, free resource to expand awareness of the feelings and needs driving your responses, visit the NVC Academy’s Feelings & Needs Inventory or purchase the Connect Decks Emotional Awareness & Intuitive Development app for only $2.99.

Boundary Reflection Questions

• Nervous System Awareness: When you feel the urge to “fix” or overfunction for a team member or client, where do you notice it in your body? Is your heart racing, your jaw tight, or your breath shallow?

• Window of Tolerance: How might expanding your capacity to stay present—even when others struggle—create space for their growth and your own well-being?

• Grounding Practices: What somatic tools (breathwork, grounding postures, a brief walk) help you return to regulation before responding?

• Leadership Boundaries: Where in your professional life do you tend to take on too much? What would it look like to trust your team or clients more fully?

Practice with Me: Take a pause, park your worries and paperwork, and try out this empowering, 6-Minute Somatic Boundary Awareness Practice- you’ll be glad you did:

By cultivating boundaries in life and leadership, we create environments where both we and our teams thrive—balancing compassion with accountability, connection with autonomy, and ambition with sustainability. Boundaries are not barriers; they are bridges to deeper self-trust, collective flourishing, and regenerative leadership.

How will you embody stronger boundaries in your life and leadership this week?

Ready to go deeper? 

If you’re looking to bring these conversations to your organization or community, invite Catherine to speak at your next women’s conference or workplace event (learn more). Or, if you’re seeking personal transformation, explore 1:1 coaching and Equine Assisted Experiential Retreats for Empowered Leaders with Lisa (learn more).

References

• Webster, B. (2021). Discovering the Inner Mother: A Guide to Healing the Mother Wound and Claiming Your Personal Power. Harper Wave.

• Bogard, A. (2022). Embodied Healing: Somatic Wisdom for Healing Trauma and Awakening to Your Full Potential.

• Brown, B. (2018). Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Random House.

• Perry, D. (2015). “Boundaries arise at all scales, defining the entities that they surround and protecting them from some kinds of outside intrusion. To be functional, boundaries must be permeable, allowing the entities to take energy and information from outside themselves.”

• Polyvagal Theory: Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W.W. Norton & Company.

• Self-Attunement. (n.d.). Self-Attunement Workbook: Practices for Embodied Healing and Resilience.

• NVC Academy. (n.d.). Feelings & Needs Inventory. Retrieved from https://nvcacademy.com/media/NVCA/learning-tools/NVCA-feelings-needs.pdf