The Power of Slowing Down Before You Speed Up

Midlife has a way of asking us to change, whether we feel ready or not. Work and priorities shift, our roles at home evolve, our bodies ask for more honesty, and the old habit of pushing through begins to exact too high a cost. In my own life, I’ve noticed that when parts of my life get too full or complicated, one of the first things to disappear is giving myself permission to pause long enough to notice what I actually need—and what I want next.

Over the past six months, I’ve been living inside this tension in a very personal way. On one side was the Artemis II journey with Catherine and her family—standing in the glow of a once-in-a-lifetime mission, watching Jeremy and the crew embody the kind of calm, disciplined, deeply human leadership so many of us have been hungry to witness on the world stage. On the other side was the very grounded, very earth-side work of a fast-moving FemTech startup, where Catherine and I were responsible for delivering real solutions for midlife women —credible, clinician-led care paired with community support. And woven through it all were the quieter, more intimate challenges of daily life: unexpected and unwelcome change, including the loss of a long-term relationship and an identity I thought was more fixed than it turned out to be.

From the crossroads of awe, responsibility, and personal upheaval came an unexpected invitation: to press pause and slow down in Provence, France, with my friend, developmental psychologist, professor and Liminal Learning founder, Isabela Granic—a chance to metabolize all of it and listen for what was asking to emerge next.

The Power of Slowing Down Together

Isabela came into my life only two years ago through the Coralus community, but, as with Catherine and Emm, there was an immediate sense of ease, resonance, and shared purpose—to create the conditions for human flourishing. Over six months, Isabela and I co-hosted a monthly women’s circle with eight other women, alternating between our homes. We gathered around shared meals, simple rituals, and the poems, practices, and inspirations helping us move through change. The structure was simple, but the experience was deeply resourcing: a space to listen well, reflect honestly, and notice the somatic wisdom that becomes easier to hear when we slow down together.

What struck me most was how powerful it can be to slow down in the company of other women who are willing to be real and notice life as it actually is, versus how we’ve been conditioned to see it. In that kind of space, we become mirrors for one another: we help each other see what is true, what is ready to be released, and what is quietly asking to emerge. We also help regulate one another through presence, attunement, and nervous system safety, which is often what makes aligned action possible. Sometimes we do not need more pressure, insight, or strategy first—we need enough steadiness to hear ourselves clearly.

Nervous System Nuance

This is also nervous system work. Over the years of bracing and breath-holding, many of us lose the ability to distinguish between “this is hard” and “this is dangerous.” A full inbox, a difficult conversation, a mistake at work, or an unfinished task can all register in the body as if they are emergencies, not just challenges. In that state, the system does what it was designed to do: it mobilizes for threat. We get stuck “on” (anxious, wired, over-functioning) or “off” (shut down, numb, checked out), rather than moving through activation and then back into a steadier baseline.

Try this (60 seconds):

• Think of one situation this week that felt like an emergency in your body but, on reflection, was simply hard or uncomfortable.

• Ask yourself: If I treated this as difficult rather than dangerous, what would “supporting my recovery” look like for the next 10 minutes?

  
  

Examples might include:

• Drinking a glass of water and taking 10 slow breaths by a window

• Stepping outside and feeling your feet on the ground

• Putting a gentle hand on your heart or belly and noticing your breath

• Sending one clear boundary-setting message instead of answering every email

• Lying on the floor for five minutes and letting your body be fully supported

Healing from the impact of stress and burnout doesn’t mean never getting activated. It means that, over time, the nervous system learns nuance. It learns that not every criticism, disagreement, delay, or unknown is a crisis. It can respond in better proportion to what is actually happening—and, just as importantly, it can recover afterward. The work is less about eliminating stress and more about building the capacity to come back to yourself after stress: to pause, to orient, to feel your feet on the floor, to ask, “What would help me recover from this?” and offer yourself something small and concrete instead of pushing straight into the next demand.

A Purposeful Pause in Provence

That is part of what led me to accept Isabela’s invitation to visit her family home in Provence, France. Time there gave me space to rest, reflect, and reconnect with what matters most to me: connection, meaningful conversation, beauty, adventure, and work that genuinely supports women in the realities of modern life. One of the highlights was a pilgrimage to Mary Magdalene’s cave, a place that connects me to my feminine courage, devotion, and presence.

What I’ve realized from attending the Artemis II launch, living the pace of startup life, and visiting France is that none of them are escapes from my real life. Wherever you go, there you are. They are all reminders that support matters, and that women need spaces where they can reconnect with themselves while still living inside full and demanding lives.

Kinnect Circles as Essential Medicine

At Effica, Kinnect Circles are designed in that spirit—credible menopause-informed care, real conversation, and community that helps women feel less alone and more resourced. They are a form of essential medicine: a place to slow down, feel supported, and hear your own wisdom more clearly before taking the next step.

While there are certainly days when midlife can feel like a crisis, it is also a powerful doorway. It doesn’t just strip away what is no longer workable; it can deliver you to your life’s most meaningful work. For many of us, that work is becoming the version of ourselves we were always meant to be—unapologetic, resilient, and connected to our highest values, strengths, and purpose in the everyday actions of our lives. Different parts of us may need more care and unlearning at different times: our bodies, our relationships, our work, our sense of meaning. Slowing down enough to notice which part is calling right now is an act of leadership.

Try this (coaching reflection)

What is one area of your life—your body, your relationships, your work, or your sense of meaning—that is asking for more honest care right now, and what is one small, concrete way you’re willing to respond this week?

Easing Out of Overfunctioning

As I release my own pattern of overfunctioning and the inherited belief that I have to be everything to everyone, I’m easing into what it feels like to be part of a brilliant team—whose knowledge and expertise are different from my own. I get to learn from them while bringing my unique constellation of skills to the Effica ecosystem of care that Catherine and I are so proud to be part of.

If you’re longing for this kind of support as you move through your own midlife doorway, you can learn more about Effica Health and Kinnect Circles here: Explore Effica Health and Kinnect Circles.